Jobs. Goals. The things you’re meant to have a hold of by the time you get uni. This is something I’ve struggled with a lot throughout my life. From my fear of heights stopping me from being an astronaut (11 year old me was weird) to right now as a 20 year old not having a clue what I’m doing, I feel like the whole idea of ‘having a career’ just makes me want to shrug my shoulders and crawl into bed.
Flashback to last week and our course leader, wide-eyed and way too enthusiastic for my tired brain on on a Monday morning, decided to turn the conversation to our plans for third-year/after university. Safe to say we weren’t quite as enthusiastic as she was, as she was met with 15 or so slumping bodies and awkward “erm well…..”. You can throw me in with that too because as I said, I don’t have a bloody clue. I guess I have myself in a difficult situation because it’s not so much that I know what I want to do after university, more that I know what I don’t want to do after uni. Sorry Mum and Dad for what I’m about to say but
I’m studying Fashion Journalism but I don’t want to be a Fashion Journalist.
Definitely not for me.
BBC2 ran a documentary about the insides of British Vogue and nothing about it appealed to me. Working at a magazine, sitting in an office chair in front of a computer screen for a publication like ELLE or Vogue just isn’t my thing. Pretty funny considering I spend 99% of my life doing that with blogging and uni and just general laziness but there was just nothing about the documentary that inspired me to get off my butt and get a career in straight up fashion journalism.
The beauty of my course at uni is that it’s allowed me to be opened up to more than just writing for a magazine. From first year alone I learnt that I was far better at photography and the graphic design side of things more than article/feature based content. Then this year I get to try my hand at music journalism not to mention voice coaching and presenting for TV and radio.
A couple of weeks ago I took a social media break whilst I was in London for my boyfriend’s birthday, and it gave me a chance to really think about things. Walking around various streets of London armed with disposable cameras and my favourite person, I was able to focus on what it is I really want to do with my life;
I want to avoid the ‘oh so you wanna write for Vogue then?’ response I get when I tell someone what I’m studying at uni, and to be able to switch and change what I’m doing and when it’s being done. At 20 it’s impossible to predict exactly what my life is going to be like and what I’m going to be doing in 5, 10 or even 20 years. Who knows? One year I might wanna try out a photography job. The next year, styling maybe. and maybe just music related stuff after that. Heck, I might have a completely different career from what I’m stressing over now! Despite the confusion and uncertainty with my future, three things I do know for sure are:
I want to be able to confidently tell people what it is I want to do with my life, without feeling guilty for going against the career that my degree seems to steer me towards.
I want to be happy.
I want to be creative.
Hey would you look at that? Maybe the C word isn’t so scary after all?