Train of Thought

Train journeys give you a lot of time to think about things. Looking out of a window, headphones in – it’s like something out of a movie. Your eyes block out the sounds of strangers and your mind is free to wander to anywhere and everywhere you choose.

This is all deep and meaningful but I’ve spent a good part of the last month or too doing just that. I’ve clocked up a fair few hours on trains lately going on different adventures (most of which you can see on my instagram) and I’ve had a lot of stuff on my mind. This post seems fitting with it being the new year (even though we’re almost 2 weeks in oops) and all and a lot of what I’ve been thinking about is where I’m at with my life now, and where I want to be this time next year.

2016 was an interesting one – we all know that – but despite the losses, the ‘grab em by the pussy’ idiots and ugh Brexit, 2016 was an okay one on a personal level. I say okay because in some aspects it was amazing; I finished my first year at university, fell in love with a music making goofball and made some awesome memories. But it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. I rambled last year about what I want to do with my life career-wise and whilst a lot of that still stands, I’m still awkwardly floating through university and the idea of having a career. Whilst I was more accepting of myself in 2016, I still have a hell of a long way to go to get anywhere incredibly positive and 2016 as a whole just proved that this whole ‘adulting’ thing is just one big ?!?!?!?!.

“BECCA YOU’RE POSTING AGAIN, ARE YOU FEELING OKAY??”

One big change from last year was to this lil thing you’re reading now. If you look back over 2016 you’ll notice there’s not much there… because there just wasn’t. I’d set myself the goal of getting my arse in gear with BCALOU last year and I’ll be the first to admit that I failed. Whilst my engagement slowly grew on Twitter and Instagram (as well as my theme becoming a whole load of lovely), there were posts few and very far between.

2017 is the year that I truly get my butt in gear with BCALOU. My latest post from seeing The 1975 has confirmed that I want to write about music more alongside fashiony posts – towards the end of last year I fell in love with style again after a loooooooong style rut and I’m excited to plan and shoot outfit posts again (seriously…it’s been way too long).

So just like last year (but this time it will actually happen), I want to be able to post candid coffee-drinking shots wearing my current favourite outfit; shoot videos from a back-street venue of a band people have probably never heard of and everything in between. And it’s gonna happen.

Jeans: Primark // Jumper: Primark // Watch: New Look

“WHAT ABOUT YOU? HOW YOU DOIN’?”

Why thanks for asking. I’m Becca, I’m turning 21 this year and despite looking like I’ve got my shiz together, I don’t have a bloody clue what I’m doing with my life. I’m half way through my uni degree, I graduate next year and to be perfectly honest, I’m terrified. Whilst my post about ‘the C word’ still stands – I definitely know what I don’t want to do with my life – the thought of leaving university and being a proper adult with a handle on life and a job, slowly seems to be slipping away.

This might just be because I haven’t started my second semester of second year yet (god, all of the S’s) and I’m desperately seeking the security of having a routine again, but I know something needs to change. Entering third year without a clue of what I want to do genuinely terrifies me so expect a number of twitter rambles in the future of me trying to get a handle on things (sorry in advance oops).

As for life in general? Who knows.

2017 is definitely the year for sorting things – myself, my uni/blog life, my family – and I am determined to get it all done. The first steps have been put into place and it’s up to me to right the wrongs that should have been sorted a long time ago. Sharing my blog on my personal Facebook (after 2 years of being scared to) was the best decision I could have made, family that I haven’t seen or spoken to in years and getting to see this huge part of my life and friends and others who thought I was a bit crap at my A Levels and not gonna get anywhere can see that I’m doing something fun and productive with my life.

It won’t be easy, I know that. Following the past 2 years, I know there’s a chance that I might slip into old habits with old demons, I mean I’ve already had my first big cry of 2017 as well as numerous internal breakdowns but that won’t stop me. There are people in my life that’ll kick me up the butt on every step of the way this year and do you know what? I can’t wait.

Come at me 2017. I’m ready for ya.

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