SELENOPHILE (noun) ./ “someone who finds joy and peace from the moon”
“if only my view wasn’t so cloudy right now, I miss seeing my girl Luna 🌙🌑
there’s just something so comforting about seeing her from my window, or anytime for that matter. it kinda just washes over me and makes my whole body feel calm. gah if only every night could be bathed in moonlight.”
– august 3rd’17
📍 OBSERVATORY SCIENCE CENTRE
There’s just something about space.
As a teenager I plastered my room with posters, dreamt of working at NASA and even got a telescope to immerse myself in all things space related. > side note: that telescope snapped and to this day I’m still sad about it. <
Even my family trip to America about 10 years ago is defined by it. Now not wanting to get emotional, let’s just say that a certain somebody was very excited to go to Epcot, one for the makeshift Japan – another love of mine – and also because it is the place for space. Now as someone who is not a fan of rollercoasters, this was the dream. I’d envisioned strolling to Japan then hopping in a space shuttle – you know, all the traditional Disney stuff. If we had time, we’d also planned to visit the Kennedy Space Centre which would have been a DREAM. If you can’t already tell by the past tense and lack of fangirling – it didn’t happen – and I was crushed.
Despite a series lack of a sciencey brain – I dreamt of working at NASA and spending all day everyday being surrounded by one of my loves.
Basically what I’m trying to say is that If I had to sum up my childhood it’d be boybands, Harry Potter and space.
It’s something that I’m both in awe of, and completely terrified by.
There’ll be times where I look up at the night sky and feel completely overwhelmed. I’ll feel so small and vulnerable as the Earth itself is vast and huge, but around us, what’s keeping us a float is just a sea of black.
There are other planets out there, stars, galaxies, back holes and even a giant ass ball of gas that – albeit rarely makes an appearance in the UK – but we orbit around all day err’day. AND WE ARE A PART OF THAT??!
This sounds very GCSE Physics but there are times when I look up to the sky and just all of this takes over and I suddenly feel very small, very scared and very intimidated by the sea of stars that look back at me.
And then there are times when that same sea of stars that frightens the crap out of me, makes me feel at home. I’ve cried over how beautiful the stars look and the way that my eyes focus in on them and suddenly the deep black of the sky has changed, and seeing Luna (because obviously the moon and I are on first name terms) has saved me from countless sleepless nights:
“I was a sobbing mess – and then out came the moon from the clouds in this photo. I’m a space nerd (if you couldn’t already tell by my choice of emojis in my insta bio) and it’s something that brings me great comfort, especially during a night like last night. My sobbing eased, I could breathe normally again and I opened my blinds to let the light shine through, rather than blocking the flashes of lightning and forcing them away.”
But recently I’ve been feeling a bit out of touch with it all. The 13 year old in me that would read and teach herself all about the sun and the moon, just disappeared. Yes I’ve been adoring the night sky from a looks and a feeling? sorting of way, but the passion and the desire to learn more about it has just slipped way.
Cut to me, camping in a field lit by moonlight, with some of the oldest telescopes behind us (one of which we went it???!!) and enough space themed content to make any almost 21 year old girl squeal like a child.
And well, it was incredible.
I became a kid again. I was getting teary at the sight of the moon and just being in a place surrounded by people that – albeit had a lot more knowledge on it than me – loved it just as much as I do was amazing.
Connor and I faced the biggest test of our relationship – putting up a tent (you’ll be happy to know that we survived with all our limbs) – and spent the night under the stars, trying to map out constellations and roaming round a little museum filled with all of my favourite things. (We even got to look through one of the telescopes and I was excitedly jumping away in the queue at the thought of seeing something out there in space!!?)
Now it might seem weird that I’m writing a post about the moon and an astronomy festival, but it really got me thinking – I miss being that 13 year old with poster covered walls. I spend so much of my time now on uni work, on my blog and just doing everything else that I’ve let slide things that I loved learning about and immersing myself in. I spend so much of my time in awe of the night sky – how it looks, how it makes me feel – yet I’ve not kept in touch with the side of me that’s always wanted to know more.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, I want to be a lil bit more like the girl you see up there. The almost 21-year-old that’s posing like a goof next to the astronaut, clutching onto her new Moon poster like the young girl in her who did before.
Because in case you couldn’t already tell from that look of joy on my face,
I love space
To the moon and back.