It’s impossible for me to read that title and not start belting out Bon Jovi I mean come on.
It’s crazy to think we’re pretty much a quarter of the way through 2018 *shudders* – just where oh where has that time gone? To ease myself back into the blogging swing of things after my little break, I thought I’d check in with myself and the goals that I set for myself back at the beginning of the year. 2018 is the first year that I’ve ‘properly’ set goals for myself and I know that if I don’t keep myself in check, well then this whole thing’ll go tits up.
BECCA THE GRADUATE
“If my A-Level Textiles teacher was to ever come across my blog (hi Mrs Owen if you’re reading this) then she’d probably have a heart attack at the thought of me actually graduating from university. The truth is, whilst this is a thing for all uni students, this is a h u g e thing for me. Uni was something that I aspired to for the longest time and following a turbulent A-Levels experience, is something that I’m forever grateful to be experiencing. 2018 marks me being the first person to graduate from uni in my family and I am determined to make everybody that’s stuck by me through constant career plan changes (sorry 7-year-old-wannabe-Geisha Becca) and creative breakdowns proud.”
Well GOOD NEWS BECCA MA GAL, you’ve only gone and finished ya bloody degree (!!). I’m surprised I’m not sick of these photos as I’ve posted them everywhere but to think that I have completed 3 years of something I love, something that was a mere fairytale for me as a kid and something that I’m actually not too shabby at !!!?? – it just boggles my mind. Yes I might have cried as I handed in the physical elements of my FMP (it did get me a hug from my FMP tutor aka my saving grace over the past 3 years) but I am just so !! happy !!. Gah let the wait begin until that dreaded results email drops into my inbox.
LET’S PRETEND THE ALGORITHM DOESN’T EXIST FOR A SECOND BECAUSE I BLOODY LOVE INSTAGRAM AND I WANT IT TO STAY THAT WAY
TL;DR: “Right Instagram, I know we all had our issues with you over 2017 and we get that, you’re going through teenage rebellion stage but you’re my favourite social media platform so I’m gonna try and look past it.”
It’s crazy to see how much my priorities have changed since starting the ol’blog back in 2015(ish), or at least how my mindset towards that platform has completely changed. This doesn’t mean I don’t love Instagram – I think we all know that I’ll be on that for the rest of time – it’s just that I’ve reevaluated our relationship and finally understood that space is good.
I know that January-me was all ‘oh I don’t care about not posting‘ or ‘oh my theme doesn’t match? who cares‘, but in all honesty, I think I was lying to myself. Up until a couple of weeks – maybe even days – ago, I was still finding myself looking at my profile and thinking “ugh this photo looks naff” or “god what was I thinking with that outfit?” and the often mentally quoted “I wish my theme was like XXX/why can’t it just look like XXX’s?”.
Becca. My love. My gal. Myself? This stuff simply doesn’t matter. Prior to the last couple of weeks of uni, the thought of abandoning the platform for a bit terrified me (god first world problem or what), but 3 or so weeks later and I couldn’t be happier that I didn’t show my face for a bit. Like any good relationship, space is good, it’s needed. Unless I’m contributing anything worthwhile to the conversation (in this case, people’s Instagram feeds), then why post it for the sake of it?
I feel like I could write an entire post on my attitudes towards the platform and how my priorities have and continue to change but I’m happy with the way I’m going about things at the moment. Though a 3-week break wasn’t ideal (though desperately needed), it actually saw some of the quickest growth my profile has seen in a good few months.
Who knows eh Instagram, maybe one day we’ll all wake up one day and you won’t be consuming our thoughts?
“[…] see it more as a casual toe-dip into the world of YouTube. Who knows”
THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED … far less frequently than I hoped but IT HAPPENED. Pop yourself down to the bottom of this page (after you’ve finished reading this post of course) and you’ll see one of my YouTube videos! Now that uni is over I am yearning for a new creative video outlet so expect to see this gal potentially popping up very soon.
*IN RIHANNA’S VOICE* BLOGBLOGBLOGBLOGBLOGBLOG
TL;DR: Blogging who?
I think I was lulled into a false sense of security with my FMP because of how passionate I was about my topic. “Oh I’m sure it won’t be that bad” I cried – and boy was I wrong. Naturally, my degree took priority and apart from the odd monthly soundtrack post, blog posts from me were very few and far between. Never fear, with the end of uni I now have a lot more time to focus on blogging and bring some of my ideas to life.
Like my initial goal blog post, I’ll break it down by category to make our lives easier!
FASHUN: “I know, even I forget I’m a ‘fashion’ blogger sometimes too. I finally feel like I’m heading towards a wardrobe filled with clothes and outfits that make me feel f a b u l o u s and it’s only fitting that I start documenting that.” Erm so thus far this has completely failed. Long days at uni and library sessions meant that style went out of the window – days of the comfiest of leggings, giant jumpers and chucking my hair up in a bun was the only way for me. And in all honesty as we head towards sunnier (ish) times and hotter weather, the clothes that make me feel f a b u l o u s as past me put it has also appeared to go out of the window (the wonderful Rhianna wrote a post on ‘navigating the tricky world of summer body confidence’ which goes into some detail on how the sunshine makes me feel).
Over the coming months I think there’ll be (or I hope that there’ll be) a bit of summer self-discovery in the wardrobe department; one of slightly rambling #OOTD posts over on Instagram and outfits that allow me to figure out just what it is that my body feels most comfortable in. I also want to strip things back with the way in which I blog about things (something the fabulous Holly has touched upon over on her blog). Too often do I find myself – much like my Instagram – wishing that I had incredible photos in incredible locations but that just isn’t feasible at the moment. But there’s something about putting together a makeshift tripod, plonking myself on my bed and acting as if I know what I’m doing. It allows me to a) get used to being in front of the camera and b) takes me back to what I used to do in my university halls a couple of years ago. It allows me to grow and find what it is that I really want to create.
MUSIC: Yes bubba might not have contributed to the last monthly soundtrack post and we may have missed March’s instalment (don’t you worry, a giant bumper edition will be coming your way soon) but I have never felt happier with my music content – or at least where I want to go with it. I’ve had a chance to fully immerse myself in the things that I’m listening to and it’s been great but not only that, my hunger to listen to new things, new artists, new anything, has never been stronger. Basically what I’m trying to say is ALL THE MUSIC (ps you should totally follow my spotify *cough* plug *cough*).
LIFE/IN GENERAL: I mean, if you didn’t already then we all know that I love a good rambly Instagram caption and I don’t think that’ll be stopping at any point soon. ‘Nuff said.
GET BLINDED BY SUNSHINE AND LOST IN THE RAIN
“So often I find myself feeling the need to capture everything I see because I want to post about it, or I’ll be sad that I haven’t captured a photo/video from something that I’m doing because ‘whelp that means I can’t post about it now’ […] My life will go on if I don’t capture a photo of the sunset and likewise, I don’t need to get a photo of the moon every time I see it (although who am I kidding, yes, yes I do).”
I gave up my 1 second a day video. While something that my memory-hoarding heart adored the idea of, I was just far to concerned with making it look good; it was almost as if my brain was making it with an end purpose that wasn’t just ‘oh it’d be cool to see a year in your life’ in mind. I’d become self-aware of the number of days I’d spend in my room, watching videos or doing uni work, I was criticising the way in which I was living my life despite the things I was doing (or not doing if the amount of YouTube that appeared was anything to go by) – and that is just so not cool.
I still struggle with the need to take a million photos of everything and I think the rest of this year, or over summer at least, it’s about finding the perfect balance between capturing too much and capturing the essentials (although yes you will still find me getting a million photos of the moon).
HI, MY NAME’S BECCA AND THIS INTRODUCTION IS MORE FOR ME THAN ANYONE ELSE I GUESS?
“Since about 2014 I’ve felt like I’ve lost who the real ‘Becca’ was and for a good part of 2017 she was back; however, along with the mental fog, I felt like a zombie with no purpose (always a lovely thought). This year I want to keep in touch with myself and how I’m doing; I want to acknowledge the days where I’m not feeling tip-top and try and figure out just what it is (if I can) that’s causing it so that I can make a conscious effort to change it (and not spend my life feeling like my head is a cloud).
I guess what I’m trying to say is hello there 2018, my name’s Becca and this year is The One Where Becca Finds Herself.”
Keep going present me, you’ll get there.